WHY should they follow you as a leader?

As leadership coach my #1 tip is that you SHOW them, with your ACTIONS, not just words. How? 

·     Be worthy of respect. 

This means YOU must model the way.  If your behavior shouts “Do as I say, not as I do,” you are sunk.  Why would anyone follow a leader who does not honor his or her own word?  So keep your promises.  Be aware of how your actions could appear to others.  When you’re a leader, others are looking not just TO you, but also AT you. As you respond calmly to pressure, as you respond graciously to criticism especially when it’s not deserved, you determine why others should trust you enough to follow even when the road gets bumpy.

·     Be clear. Create a shared vision.  

Describe the destination as vividly as you can.  Anticipate and provide answers to ‘Where are we going?  What must we do to get there? How will achieve that?  What resources do we have?” And motivation is vital: answer the question they may not be asking out loud, but are surely wondering: “What’s in it for us?”  Paint an inspiring picture for all those who follow you: one that will continue to energize them through the hills and valleys.

·     Be curious! 

Your life would change dramatically if 80% of your questions begin with the word “What …”  Because others will respond with more specific details.  On the other hand, a question that begins with “Why …” makes people guarded and wary, as if they must suddenly defend themselves.  

• Notice the difference in tone and emotional impact between these 2 questions:  “Why are you late?” compared to “What caused your delay?” The word “why” makes me feel I have to justify myself to you. And I resent that.  The word “what” makes me think you actually want to know, that you might be sympathetic. People are very literal. The question you ask determines the response you get.

• Or compare how these 2 questions feel different:  “Why are you doing that?” vs. “What is important to you about that?”  The “why” makes others feel attacked, even when you don’t intend it.  Starting with “what” will bring you closer, as they share some insight into their values, hopes, motives.  And you are more likely to find something in common.  Or at least a way to encourage the person.   

Imagine yourself as a curious anthropologist, eager to discover more, to better understand those under your leadership. They have entrusted you with much as a leader.  Keep showing that they made the right choice.

Edith Hamilton, MBA, CPCC is a certified executive coach for CFOs and VPs in Finance and Operations, particularly recently promoted women in the C-suite. She is a former executive of Fortune 500s, and has a background in private equity.  With over 25 years’ experience in finance, operations, and growth strategies in corporations of all sizes including middle-market and entrepreneurial, Edith is a catalyst who accelerates leadership growth using tailored coaching frameworks that typically have an ROI of 4x-6x.

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